{"id":34130,"date":"2019-01-21T08:40:21","date_gmt":"2019-01-21T10:40:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/colinahomolog.com.br\/dev\/just-real-moms\/?p=34130"},"modified":"2023-08-15T09:51:30","modified_gmt":"2023-08-15T12:51:30","slug":"a-mae-desnecessaria-por-marcia-neder","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/colinahomolog.com.br\/dev\/just-real-moms\/a-mae-desnecessaria-por-marcia-neder\/","title":{"rendered":"A m\u00e3e &#8220;desnecess\u00e1ria&#8221; &#8211; por Marcia Neder"},"content":{"rendered":"<button class=\"simplefavorite-button preset\" data-postid=\"34130\" data-siteid=\"1\" data-groupid=\"1\" data-favoritecount=\"6\" style=\"box-shadow:none;-webkit-box-shadow:none;-moz-box-shadow:none;background-color:#68ccb4;border-color:#68ccb4;color:#ffffff;\"><i class=\"sf-icon-favorite\" style=\"\"><\/i>Favorite<\/button><p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Ol\u00e1!<\/p>\n<p>N\u00f3s, m\u00e3es (e pais), temos um instinto de superprote\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n<p>Quando os g\u00eameos nasceram, eu mal deixava as pessoas me ajudarem a cuidar deles: eu dava todos os banhos (na \u00e9poca, eles tomavam dois por dia, ou seja, eu dava no total quatro banhos di\u00e1rios), eles iam brincar com outras crian\u00e7as e eu ficava grudada o tempo todo, n\u00e3o os largava nem um minuto sequer.<\/p>\n<p>Mas, aos poucos, percebi que isso n\u00e3o estava fazendo t\u00e3o bem para eles socialmente. Eles n\u00e3o iam com muita gente e eu acabava at\u00e9 &#8220;travando&#8221; as brincadeiras deles.<\/p>\n<p>Claro que a maior parte do tempo ainda fico muito com eles, mas em certos momentos acho que precisam de um pouco de liberdade. Eles brincam melhor com outras crian\u00e7as quando n\u00e3o estou por perto, n\u00e3o ficam com vergonha, se soltam mais.<\/p>\n<p>Enfim, eu recebi um texto por e-mail que fala sobre a &#8220;m\u00e3e desnecess\u00e1ria&#8221; e foi escrito pela psicanalista, p\u00f3s-doutora e doutora em Psicologia Cl\u00ednica, M\u00e1rcia Neder, que achei superinteressante. \u00c9 um ponto de vista diferente do que eu j\u00e1 havia lido e acho que tem muito fundamento.<\/p>\n<p>Espero que gostem!<\/p>\n<p>Mil Bjsss<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-34131\" src=\"https:\/\/colinahomolog.com.br\/dev\/just-real-moms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/mae_desnecessaria-just_real_moms-1.jpg\" alt=\"M\u00e3e desnecess\u00e1ria - Just Real Moms\" width=\"600\" height=\"402\" \/><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>A boa m\u00e3e \u00e9 aquela que vai se tornando desnecess\u00e1ria com o passar do tempo. V\u00e1rias vezes ouvi de um amigo psicanalista essa frase, e ela sempre me soou estranha.<\/p>\n<p>At\u00e9 agora. Agora, quando minha filha de quase 18 anos come\u00e7a a dar voos-solo.<\/p>\n<p>Chegou a hora de reprimir de vez o impulso natural materno de querer colocar a cria embaixo da asa, protegida de todos os erros, tristezas e perigos. Uma batalha herc\u00falea, confesso. Quando come\u00e7o a esmorecer na luta para controlar a super-m\u00e3e que todas temos dentro de n\u00f3s, lembro logo da frase, hoje absolutamente clara.<\/p>\n<p>Se eu fiz o meu trabalho direito, tenho que me tornar desnecess\u00e1ria.<\/p>\n<p>Antes que alguma m\u00e3e apressada me acuse de desamor, explico o que significa isso.<\/p>\n<p>Ser \u201cdesnecess\u00e1ria\u201d \u00e9 n\u00e3 o deixar que o amor incondicional de m\u00e3e, que sempre existir\u00e1, provoque v\u00edcio e depend\u00eancia nos filhos, como uma droga, aponto de eles n\u00e3o conseguirem ser aut\u00f4nomos, confiantes e independentes.<\/p>\n<p>Prontos para tra\u00e7ar seu rumo, fazer suas escolhas, superar suas frustra\u00e7\u00f5es e cometer os pr\u00f3prios erros tamb\u00e9m. A cada fase da vida, vamos cortando e refazendo o cord\u00e3o umbilical. A cada nova fase, uma nova perda \u00e9 um novo ganho, para os dois lados, m\u00e3e e filho.<\/p>\n<p>Porque o amor \u00e9 um processo de liberta\u00e7\u00e3o permanente e esse v\u00ednculo n\u00e3o p\u00e1ra de se transformar ao longo da vida. At\u00e9 o dia em que os filhos se tornam adultos, constituem a pr\u00f3pria fam\u00edlia e recome\u00e7am o ciclo.<\/p>\n<p>O que eles precisam \u00e9 ter certeza de que estamos l\u00e1, firmes, na concord\u00e2ncia ou na diverg\u00eancia, no sucesso ou no fracasso, com o peito aberto para o aconchego, o abra\u00e7o apertado, o conforto nas horas dif\u00edceis.<\/p>\n<p>Pai e m\u00e3e &#8211; solid\u00e1rios &#8211; criam filhos para serem livres. Esse \u00e9 o maior desafio e a principal miss\u00e3o.<\/p>\n<p>Ao aprendermos a ser \u201cdesnecess\u00e1rios\u201d, nos transformamos em porto seguro para quando eles decidirem atracar.<\/p>\n<p><em>&#8220;D\u00ea a quem voc\u00ea ama:<\/em><br \/>\n<em> Asas para voar&#8230;<\/em><br \/>\n<em> Ra\u00edzes para voltar&#8230;<\/em><br \/>\n<em> Motivos para ficar&#8230;&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Dalai Lama<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-34132\" src=\"https:\/\/colinahomolog.com.br\/dev\/just-real-moms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/mae_desnecessaria-just_real_moms-2.jpg\" alt=\"M\u00e3e desnecess\u00e1ria - Just Real Moms\" width=\"562\" height=\"281\" srcset=\"https:\/\/colinahomolog.com.br\/dev\/just-real-moms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/mae_desnecessaria-just_real_moms-2.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/colinahomolog.com.br\/dev\/just-real-moms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/mae_desnecessaria-just_real_moms-2-400x200.jpg 400w, https:\/\/colinahomolog.com.br\/dev\/just-real-moms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/mae_desnecessaria-just_real_moms-2-820x410.jpg 820w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 562px) 100vw, 562px\" \/><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Fonte: <a href=\"http:\/\/www.marcianeder.com.br\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Marcia Neder<\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Conte\u00fado exclusivo do site Just Real Moms.\u00a0<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>Categoria: Gravidez, maternidade, blog de m\u00e3e, blog para m\u00e3e, dicas de m\u00e3e, dicas para gr\u00e1vidas, dicas de maternidade.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n    <div class=\"xs_social_share_widget xs_share_url after_content \t\tmain_content  wslu-style-1 wslu-share-box-shaped wslu-fill-colored wslu-none wslu-share-horizontal wslu-theme-font-no wslu-main_content\">\n\n\t\t\n        <ul>\n\t\t\t        <\/ul>\n    <\/div> \n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Favorite&nbsp; Ol\u00e1! N\u00f3s, m\u00e3es (e pais), temos um instinto de superprote\u00e7\u00e3o. Quando os g\u00eameos nasceram, eu mal deixava as pessoas me ajudarem a cuidar deles: eu dava todos os banhos (na \u00e9poca, eles tomavam dois por dia, ou seja, eu dava no total quatro banhos di\u00e1rios), eles iam brincar com outras crian\u00e7as e eu ficava [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":34131,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[30],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-34130","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-de-mae-para-mae"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v26.6 (Yoast SEO v28.2) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>A m\u00e3e &quot;desnecess\u00e1ria&quot; - por Marcia Neder<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"M\u00e3e desnecess\u00e1ria\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/colinahomolog.com.br\/dev\/just-real-moms\/a-mae-desnecessaria-por-marcia-neder\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"pt_BR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"A m\u00e3e &quot;desnecess\u00e1ria&quot; 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